Carver Nightclub

Haleigh Frye, Journalist

Welcome to the Carver Center night club. You may be wondering, what? Carver has a nightclub? Of
course, we do, whether you know it or not, I think every school does! You get these cool tickets; they are
even free can you believe that! They are bright green so everyone knows that you are super cool when
you get to go. Your teacher is the one who gives you the ticket. Like, what is a teacher giving you a ticket
to the nightclub instead of staying in class? Sounds crazy right? Sometimes you can make It in without a
ticket, it’s not really recommended though. Not only will these tickets get you to the nightclub, but they
also act as a passport to take you around the ENTIRE school. Although the teacher expects you not to
take that long, they should expect that when they give you this ticket that you need to take your time to
party, right?
Though you may not know it, you have been there before.
Only the coolest people get into the VIP section, the handicap stall. With all the magnificent rooms and
ample space on the dirty bathroom floor, it is ideal to hang out on. I heard that it has unlimited space, a
70-inch flat screen tv, a couch, a bed, a kitchen, everything you could ever imagine. Why else would
everyone want to hang out in a handicap stall?

Have you ever wanted to see the VIP handicap stall? lucky for you i got an exclusive picture, here take a look.

The smells are delightful, nothing beats the fresh scent of perfume and that weird smell that does not
belong in there.
Although you may not hear the music when you walk in, some people do. If you are not there for the
nightclub, you better prepare yourself for the awkward silence of you jiggling the toilet paper roll to
replace the loud sound of you peeing, breathing heavy and the constant worry that the VIP girls are
ALWAYS listening, and I mean always.
The night club has nice mirrors, great for making sure your outfit is perfect for your trip.
It is a beautiful place for social gatherings, nothing better than getting that “meet me in the bathroom”
If you want to take a trip to the nightclub, enter the bathroom and stand in front of the school mirror
and spin around 3 times and yell “go wildcats’ ‘ the lights begin to dim, and bam! Rainbow lights begin to
flash, the music is blasting, the stalls become endless rows of fun. Some teachers like Mrs.Mlinek have the coolest tickets, these customized tickets get you to special
places in the nightclub, a turtle dangling from a keychain. Who knew that a turtle could get you into the
coolest nightclub ever?
You are given your own personal room, although most people choose to share this space with their
friends. The rooms have the nicest seats in the nightclub, you get your own cooling seat that is shiny and
white, there is a nice side table right next to it
Between the music, the chattering of friends, the cranking sound when getting a paper towel, toilets
flushing, water spraying from the faucet, do you really think there is anywhere else you would rather be
than the carver night club?
The higher you go to get to the nightclub, the less likely you are to get kicked out by security. Floor 1 has
maximum security,
Therefore the best club in the school is the 3rd floor between the low security and the amazing wifi, it
does not get better than this.

Although I just gave you all of the reasons you would want to go, take this as your warning. Stay away
from the Carver nightclub! I am letting you know now it is a very dangerous place if you get caught. Or
maybe I am just telling you this because I am tired of it getting way too crowded and I already do not
have enough time to pee in peace without having to break out my dancing shoes before returning to