Carver Masks For Real

Carver Masks For Real

Claudia Rodriguez, Journalist

We need to bring back Carver masks fr. 


As a reporter, it is my duty to share accurate and sourced information about reality. that reality for Carver Center is that people are ugly without masks. Sorry not sorry. We are besties and I feel that it is my personal duty to tell you all the tea. Like all my 3000 besties at school. 


I’m not trying to say that your facial features are ugly, but that’s exactly what i’m trying to say. The other day while me and my friends were on my daddy’s 950 billion dollar cruise, we were talking about our daily school gossip, you know the usual jeeping of hot people per week BUT, the difference this week was that we heard that the hottest new couple in senior year were mask fishers. They broke up once they took off their masks and saw each other for the first time. I heard that the girl ran to the bathroom to throw up over the size of the guy’s lips and hands. So disappointed. That situation was not fetch at all. 


The captain of the football team told me that “the art babes are always hot, idk what is going on. They look real cute on their instagram posts and with masks- but otherwise it’s all show…” 


The girl with glassy eyes talks about her own experience. “Yeah I met this dude who was, like, so hot and I asked for his digits. It was a costume party at an abandoned house so I couldn’t see his face. Found his instagram and then blocked him, he looked like a rat in a sewer pipe.” She’s a total loadie but i love it 


The minecraft kid who always clicks the jump button more often than he should in the hallways, dmed me on my spam account (really weird but whatever) and told me that he saw a dude that looked like Dobby from Harry Potter combined with Kim Kardashian, kind of disturbing if you asked me.


But to everything, there’s two sides of a coin, cute people got recognized and have had face reveal moment that slapped (unlike Dream’s) This girl that always dresses like she crawled out of bed a second ago suddenly has a bunch of friends and a bunch of instagram followers, I was totally buggin, even my friends treated her better than meeeeee. 


The girlies who walk in heels can get it tho, they always look and feel good and we all know confidence is key to being successful. At least most of the time.  


My personal opinion, this girl with blonde hair is overrated, she is on the verge of losing her friends. Like my friend Cher from Beverly Hills said “she’s a full on Monet, from far away its OK, but from up close it’s a big old mess.” But mostly I hate her because she’s dating my ex boyfriend Nick. 


But, you can fix it with a cool style. period. Except for the nerds, they’re born ugly. 


XOXO your local gossip girly